just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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