ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
