I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
