okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
