i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
