I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize