I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize