You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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