you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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