My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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