awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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