I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
