I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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