Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
