i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
