playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
