And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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