MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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