At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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