Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
