well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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