Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
handjob tips. give me some.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
