Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
