Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
