he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
