I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
