I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
