at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
