u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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