my vag is so smooth its legendary
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
A bitchslap is in order.
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