We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
