Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
