Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
