sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
