Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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