all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I could fuck to npr.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
