DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
