not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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