I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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