Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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