I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize