How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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