he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
