end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
why is half of my head shaved?
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