He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
