i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
