The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
