Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
