I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
