You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
