even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish i was in the wii world.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
