Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
