Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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