I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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