his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize