Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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