oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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