I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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