Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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