Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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