i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
