My hand turned me down
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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